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...

[ Debrief about the.

What? ]

People don't usually debrief on dates, Mal. Well usually on the third or fourth there's a different kind of debriefing depending on who's involved and if everyone is down for it but- that's not the point here.

We can talk about something else. [He's up and going to the kitchen. Beers? No York already had one--wait. Yes, beers? He's not about to dictate what York drinks when he wants. He grabs two anyway and the box of pizza and returns to the couch.]

Are we calling this a date? It's pizza. Pizza doesn't seem like a date. Date implies that we're dating.

Its kind of what I meant by dinner. You chose to stay in, I said cool. I mean if you wanted an out and about date you should've said so and we're trying to date. This is a first date. I'm trying to keep you comfortable.

[ Which he's fucked up already. Jesus. He slumps back on the sofa and stares at the ceiling, trying to find the right words. ]

Do you not want to?

I don't want to go out to date. Not now. That's why we're staying in for pizza. That's what we're doing.

I'm just--I'm kind of...curious, I suppose? Er, bi-curious, you could say, even. [Nope this isn't awkward that wasn't at all awkward to say, he doesn't feel confused or a little bit ashamed at himself. Oh god, a day was far too little time to consider what Carolina said, wasn't it?] I want to try this, but I don't know how far this will go. Is that okay?

Staying in for Pizza can still be a date. Why do you think I shaved and wore the jeans that make my ass look good?

[ Effort, Mal, he's putting in one.

He's about to say more when.

Curious. Bicurious. Oh god. He clamps a hand over his mouth. He's just tired enough that the horrible pun is more than a little hilarious. ]

You shaved because of this? [How was he supposed to noticed York had even shaved? Did he have some peach fuzz growing in?] Was I supposed to noticed your backside while you sit?

[You know what, this sounds like a good time for pizza. He is going to just have some pizza now, yes. Just good old plain cheese. ...Okay there's pineapple on it so sue him. Pizza and beer. Yep. Sure is a distraction from making himself look more foolish (if that's even possible).]

Yeah, Mal, I shaved. [ He'd be annoyed if he weren't still quietly trying not to break out laughing at the bi-curious comment.

It's sad. this is sad. This is not the worst first date ever but it is pretty damn close, jesus christ. ]

What you notice is your call, man, I just wanted to look good for you. If you aren't sure- that's fine. You think I'm sure? I know I love you and feel so much I don't know what to do with it half the time. But I'm not scared. Because I trust you to be straight - snrk with me. If it works out that's awesome. But if it doesn't? That's not your fault and it's okay. Really.

You're extremely sure, and I'm terrified. [There's that love word again. It makes him want to run. It makes him want to ask why. But he'll refrain from both.]

Why? [ Mal won't ask, so he will. ] Why does this, why do I scare you? Have I ever tried to hurt you?

You don't scare me. [What a ridiculous thought.] But this does. This doesn't come easy to me, all right? People I care about don't just decide to tell me they love me. What does that mean? And why am I even here having this date-or-not pizza dinner in the first place? I'm trying to give this a chance. Change is frightening. And difficult.

It means I love you. It means I'd take a bullet for you, that I'll do anything I can to make you happy, that I want you to be safe. That I miss waking up next to you and would kinda like to make that happen all the time again, that when you're feeling good or happy or accomplished I feel good too even if I didn't do anything to help with that. It means when I fuck up and upset you it feels like failing. [ He slides a little closer to mal, much like he had the last time they'd kissed. Slow movements meant to keep him from getting spooked.

He reaches for Malcolm's hand, taking it by the wrist and leaning his cheek into Malcolm's palm like he had forever ago. ] It means I want to kiss you. I'd like it if you wanted to kiss me back. But first and foremost it means I want you comfortable with me. And I'll do or say or give anything I can to make that happen, to make this easier on you.

You're having this date, because it is a date, we agreed, I'm sorry but it is a date, to see if it's something you want. And it's fine if you don't. It really is. It's a...recon. This is recon. Scouting something out before the big mission. And sometimes that comes up good and everything goes forward and sometimes it's not a good idea and it's best to not. I don't know which this is. Neither do you. So we're...trying to see if it would be.

[Malcolm stays quiet, with a vague deer-in-headlights look about him. Even when his hand ends up cupping York's cheek gently.

There are certain parts that perk him up just a tiny bit more. So he'll latch onto those. Dearly.]

Recon. [It's actually a really good way of framing this. It's like recon.] All right. [With a small nod and less fright than before. Recon he understands; recon he does.]

I would like it if we could agree to at least go back to the way we were before. I miss the casual way you were with me. And I miss sleeping with you. I mean--you have Delta, so I'm okay that we aren't for that reason. But still, it's lonely.

This must be awful for you. I've been on dates. That you have to try and ease me into this and explain it to me is pathetic. Lord, it hasn't been that long.

...We got room for one more. Of I can swap out. I'm sure he'll be cool with that. [ He's just gonna. Slide that much closer, tilt his face enough to press a dry kiss to Malcolm's palm and loop his arm around Malcolm's shoulders. There. Close and cuddly and comfortable. ] Like this? When I was hanging off of you all the time, slapping you on the ass and calling you boo?

[ He can and will go back to that. If that's what Malcolm wants. He will. It'll be easier. ]

Well you're getting used to the idea of dating a guy. And that's fine. And it's not awful. It's you. There is very little I'd find awful if you're involved.

Don't interrupt your arrangement with Delta for that. He needs you.

[That's still a little bit odd but--the words are very accurate, and he approves.] Please. I'd like that. Better than you acting a little distant or skittish about even touching me. I might not be the touchiest person ever--understatement, naturally--but you're a bit of an exception.

Boo is...your thing. It seems. [At least he looks mildly amused through the uncertainty.]

I'm sure that's what you believe. And I appreciate the thought.

It sounds like you do too. And wasn't he the one that said I shouldn't stop cold turkey?

[ He tilts his head to rest his cheek against Malcolm's hair, happy to have this and have it be okay. It's nice. He doesn't get to have a lot of nice things. He gets to keep even fewer of those things. This- he doesn't think he'll get to keep.

But it'll be good for however long it lasts. ]

Boo's boo. Babe's babe. You're a little masculine for sweetheart or sugar.

I'm a little masculine for most of that, but whatever pleases you.

Mallobear? [ Teasing now, seriously. Teasing and maybe brushing his lips against the shell of Malcolm's ear. ] I don't think I can get away with calling you baby.

I don't think you can get away with calling me either. [He pulls back so he can give York a look of 'no don't you dare use that as an invitation to use mallobear'. Before taking a swig of beer.]

If I promise I won't call you mallobear, may I kiss you?

[ He'd promise anyway, but- testing the waters and all that. ]

Not now, no. Have some pizza before I feel fat eating it myself. [He has a physique to keep up after all.]

Alright.

[ He gives Mal a squeeze anyway before snagging a piece, sitting back and munching on it. Pineapple? He shouldn't be surprised. ]

[Not at all surprised. It's something, a very small something, he allows himself to enjoy for himself. Fuck yeah no allergies.]

...So. Movie or talking?

I'm good like this.

[ He finishes his fist slice in a few bites, wiping his hand on his jeans. Arm around Mal's shoulder, cuddled up next to him? Yeah, he's happy. ]

Unless there was something you wanted to see?

Okay. I mean, you could put one on if you wanted. [But apparently neither of them want to.]

I mean the premise of putting a movie on is just so there's something to make out to. Usually.

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