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Pizza is fine. There'll be leftovers, and the rest of the boys can have some. [Sup team mom.]

[ Keeping it as close to the status quo as possible. It's safe, familiar, comfortable. He can dig it. ]

Sure. When's good for you?

Whenever neither of us have an op or are working, I suppose.

[ Master of the art of the nonanswer - Malcolm. ]

Tonight? I'll go shower.

[ Your move, closet man. ]

Are you hungry? I'll let you order. Or I can order, and you'll be out of the shower by the time it gets here?

Yes, get whatever you want. My treat. Use the chit on top of the fridge.

[ No he did not set aside date money what are you talking about. ]

What movie do you wanna see?

We don't have to do a movie. I don't know? I can poke about and see if something strikes my fancy. Aren't you exhausted?

Never too tired for you, boo.

[ Yep, return of the boo. Babe didn't get much reaction, boo's more comfortable. ish. ]

...All right...?

[ He really wishes there was an Unsure Malcolm to english dictionary. It'd make this easier. Then again Malcolm probably wants a 'fucknut to english' dictionary to understand him better too. ]

I'll get cleaned up. Order whatever. I'll be down in thirty? Yeah.

[ Should he go give him a kiss? No. The hand thing went poorly so. Awkward wave/salute thing for the win on the way out. Yeah. ]

[Ordering whatever it is. Ordering and waiting around for the food and for York. Movies? He'll consider it, glance at a few genres, a few familiar titles, mostly just to pass the time. Reading? Reading. He'll be reading on the couch. There might be pizza on the table waiting for them! Don't worry, it'll still be nice and hot for them.]

Find anything you like?

[ Most of that half hour had been waffling on what to wear. It's a date but not an out and about date but should he put forth an effort what does he even-

Grifball shirt, fuck me jeans and a little aftershave.

He'd also shaved. Cuz. Reasons.

He saunters down and settles on the sofa, knee knocking into Malcolm's. ]

Hm? [He glances up and something seems off. Off-ish. Off but not? He'll let it slide.] Oh, movie? Only if you can find something you're interested in. We could debrief about your op if you feel up for it. Pizza's on the table, I'll grab the box.

...

[ Debrief about the.

What? ]

People don't usually debrief on dates, Mal. Well usually on the third or fourth there's a different kind of debriefing depending on who's involved and if everyone is down for it but- that's not the point here.

We can talk about something else. [He's up and going to the kitchen. Beers? No York already had one--wait. Yes, beers? He's not about to dictate what York drinks when he wants. He grabs two anyway and the box of pizza and returns to the couch.]

Are we calling this a date? It's pizza. Pizza doesn't seem like a date. Date implies that we're dating.

Its kind of what I meant by dinner. You chose to stay in, I said cool. I mean if you wanted an out and about date you should've said so and we're trying to date. This is a first date. I'm trying to keep you comfortable.

[ Which he's fucked up already. Jesus. He slumps back on the sofa and stares at the ceiling, trying to find the right words. ]

Do you not want to?

I don't want to go out to date. Not now. That's why we're staying in for pizza. That's what we're doing.

I'm just--I'm kind of...curious, I suppose? Er, bi-curious, you could say, even. [Nope this isn't awkward that wasn't at all awkward to say, he doesn't feel confused or a little bit ashamed at himself. Oh god, a day was far too little time to consider what Carolina said, wasn't it?] I want to try this, but I don't know how far this will go. Is that okay?

Staying in for Pizza can still be a date. Why do you think I shaved and wore the jeans that make my ass look good?

[ Effort, Mal, he's putting in one.

He's about to say more when.

Curious. Bicurious. Oh god. He clamps a hand over his mouth. He's just tired enough that the horrible pun is more than a little hilarious. ]

You shaved because of this? [How was he supposed to noticed York had even shaved? Did he have some peach fuzz growing in?] Was I supposed to noticed your backside while you sit?

[You know what, this sounds like a good time for pizza. He is going to just have some pizza now, yes. Just good old plain cheese. ...Okay there's pineapple on it so sue him. Pizza and beer. Yep. Sure is a distraction from making himself look more foolish (if that's even possible).]

Yeah, Mal, I shaved. [ He'd be annoyed if he weren't still quietly trying not to break out laughing at the bi-curious comment.

It's sad. this is sad. This is not the worst first date ever but it is pretty damn close, jesus christ. ]

What you notice is your call, man, I just wanted to look good for you. If you aren't sure- that's fine. You think I'm sure? I know I love you and feel so much I don't know what to do with it half the time. But I'm not scared. Because I trust you to be straight - snrk with me. If it works out that's awesome. But if it doesn't? That's not your fault and it's okay. Really.

You're extremely sure, and I'm terrified. [There's that love word again. It makes him want to run. It makes him want to ask why. But he'll refrain from both.]

Why? [ Mal won't ask, so he will. ] Why does this, why do I scare you? Have I ever tried to hurt you?

You don't scare me. [What a ridiculous thought.] But this does. This doesn't come easy to me, all right? People I care about don't just decide to tell me they love me. What does that mean? And why am I even here having this date-or-not pizza dinner in the first place? I'm trying to give this a chance. Change is frightening. And difficult.

It means I love you. It means I'd take a bullet for you, that I'll do anything I can to make you happy, that I want you to be safe. That I miss waking up next to you and would kinda like to make that happen all the time again, that when you're feeling good or happy or accomplished I feel good too even if I didn't do anything to help with that. It means when I fuck up and upset you it feels like failing. [ He slides a little closer to mal, much like he had the last time they'd kissed. Slow movements meant to keep him from getting spooked.

He reaches for Malcolm's hand, taking it by the wrist and leaning his cheek into Malcolm's palm like he had forever ago. ] It means I want to kiss you. I'd like it if you wanted to kiss me back. But first and foremost it means I want you comfortable with me. And I'll do or say or give anything I can to make that happen, to make this easier on you.

You're having this date, because it is a date, we agreed, I'm sorry but it is a date, to see if it's something you want. And it's fine if you don't. It really is. It's a...recon. This is recon. Scouting something out before the big mission. And sometimes that comes up good and everything goes forward and sometimes it's not a good idea and it's best to not. I don't know which this is. Neither do you. So we're...trying to see if it would be.

[Malcolm stays quiet, with a vague deer-in-headlights look about him. Even when his hand ends up cupping York's cheek gently.

There are certain parts that perk him up just a tiny bit more. So he'll latch onto those. Dearly.]

Recon. [It's actually a really good way of framing this. It's like recon.] All right. [With a small nod and less fright than before. Recon he understands; recon he does.]

I would like it if we could agree to at least go back to the way we were before. I miss the casual way you were with me. And I miss sleeping with you. I mean--you have Delta, so I'm okay that we aren't for that reason. But still, it's lonely.

This must be awful for you. I've been on dates. That you have to try and ease me into this and explain it to me is pathetic. Lord, it hasn't been that long.

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