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[tactical_alert]

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[goddamngrenades]

Sorry. Trying to make awful things slightly less awful's a habit- sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

[ Fuck it not working before, he tugs Malcolm's hand up again to kiss his fingers, quick and easy before letting go. ]

It must have been complicated. I mean- you talked to them more than anyone else, I think. You had a good idea of who they were other than what they presented themselves to be, right? I only ever saw the creepy violent shit.

[tactical_alert]

Something like that. Let's talk about something other than this, all right?

Like how that still feels like you're kissing the hand of some royal lady.

[goddamngrenades]

Really? I never thought about it that way. I like hands. In my line of work hands are pretty damn vital. You twitch a finger wrong and the whole encryption will lock up. [ He shrugs, having never really thought about it. ] I like you, I like your hands, you don't want me kissing your mouth so.

Hand.

I'll stop if it bugs you.

[tactical_alert]

That was something gentlemen and women did back in the day, kiss knuckles. That's just what you make me think of.

I don't know how I feel about how the kissing felt nice. So I'm overthinking the whole thing and really just need to dive in head first. But it's not like I can just will myself to stop thinking and thinking.

[goddamngrenades]

...It doesn't have to mean anything, Mal. Not if you don't want to. I mean. It's nice, right? Can't we just let ourselves have nice things?

[tactical_alert]

I've never been good at doing that. Or a lot of things, apparently, that any well socialized people can.

[goddamngrenades]

I kinda figured that out awhile ago. I'm just not sure why.

[ He reaches over to curl his hand around malcolm's neck, give him a little tug close. Not going in for a kiss, just. Headbutt of love. Forehead to forehead. ]

You're fine. Really. How you are is how you are but- you deserve nice things. To enjoy good things. This could be a good ting. Even if it's never as big a deal for you as it is for me.

[tactical_alert]

[He gives a sigh and a little nod against York. He knows he's right. Just like Carolina was right. Actually changing to be able to accept that, however, is hardly an overnight job.]

Love is a big deal.

[goddamngrenades]

You don't have to ever love me back, Malcolm.

[ There's a wry twist to his lips that tells just how much York's pretty sure that'll never happen. ]

[tactical_alert]

[There's a knot constricting his stomach.] I don't know what it feels like. It might pass me right by and I wouldn't even know it.

If this hurts you, we can always go back.

[goddamngrenades]

I tried to take it back earlier, Mal. You wouldn't let me.

[ One time offer, no longer valid. His thumb rolls in idle circles against Malcolm's nape, slow and soothing. ]

Don't over-analyze it so much. Just...go with it. Treat me like one of your French Girls.

[tactical_alert]

I'm trying. I'm failing very miserably at it, but I'm trying. We're on this strange date, aren't we?

[goddamngrenades]

Should I go put on a dress and lipstick? If that'll help I'll do it. You know I will. I have no shame whatsoever.

[ Come on, Malcolm, crack a smile. It's okay. Really. York brings up his other hand to cradle Malcolm's jaw, thumb rubbing a stripe over his bottom lip. ]

May I?

[tactical_alert]

[What--what? Dress and lip--what? Don't mind him staring in bewilderment for a bit.

Wait, there was a question in that, wasn't there?]

Sure? Not to the dress question.

[goddamngrenades]

[ Oh good it worked, he stopped looking so damn SAD. Bewildered him enough to get a yes and York huffs a soft laugh before leaning in to kiss.

Like every time before it's chaste. Dry. Soft and easy and entirely up to Malcolm how it goes. ]

[tactical_alert]

[Right, kiss, that's what that was for. He'll let it go a second before he ends it.] Why a dress?

[goddamngrenades]

You're used to women? I don't know, I was trying to make you laugh.

[ Have another quick, dry aftershock as he leans back a little and tugs. Getting mal a little closer? Likely.

Getting mal in his lap? Highly unlikely but let's see where the baffled brit goes. ]

[tactical_alert]

[He scoots closer.] Oh. I didn't understand where it had come from. Do you always kiss twice?

[goddamngrenades]

Sometimes three times. You've never had someone you just wanted to kiss all day? Nothing more, just that?

[tactical_alert]

Usually a lot more than just kissing, but sure. Just, the last time, you did the same thing, the kiss with a little peck to follow up. I didn't know if that was just your thing you did.

[goddamngrenades]

Something wrong with it?

[ Idle petting of Malcolm's shoulder and back? Initiate. ]

[tactical_alert]

I didn't say that.

[goddamngrenades]

Okay, good. I just- I wanna make you happy. If I'm doing something you like or something you don't like, tell me.

[tactical_alert]

Okay. Same...goes to you. In that I want you to be happy, but I know I'm spectacularly bad at that.

[goddamngrenades]

I can tell you one thing, right now, that'd make me happy. Would that help?