No, you just might do something else destructive instead. Hopefully you won't. I don't want this to ruin any progress you've made. Sometimes it's all right to put yourself first.
No- no I won't. I have ways to not. I know it'll- [ He runs his fingers along the inside of his arm, where the second tattoo of Loki's is burned into his skin. ] I won't. I promise I won't.
Not really, not anymore. [ He rolls his sleeve back, showing the marks. ] 'Vessel of a beloved soul'. A reminder to not. I never actually hurt myself but- I'd get out of my own head sometimes. Forget this isn't real. Think it's all just a blip till I fade out for good and need something to ground me. Pain is grounding. So I'd go into cage matches in D4 and take a few hits I could've dodged. Lean into them here and there.
Just to get bruises.
I've wanted to for different reasons the past few weeks but I haven't. The urge pops up but- I don't. Hurting me's hurting people that care about me. So I....don't.
[He could be upset about the tattoo--he's been recently--but the tat is not the point. York's feelings are the point. Malcolm comes to sit by him heavily, clap a hand on his shoulder.]
I'm glad for that. You're a much stronger individual than you give yourself credit for.
She doesn't take my shit- so that helps. When I told her about moving out for awhile she made gave me a sippy cup and told her to tell her when I felt like handling my shit like an adult.
[ So it works for him. It's entirely different from what he'd had to put up with in the project.
Every pass of Malcolm's hand has him going loose, relaxed. Melting into it. ]
Not that I left- but that I left everyone. Cut myself off completely. You and North needing space- that was reasonable. The extreme I took it to was not.
[ He dares to tip over just a bit, brush their shoulders together. ]
We try. You manage. I'm- learning to manage. [ He's trying to be realistic but something about having this much back for even a short while helps him relax enough to hope. ]
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[Best to be very blunt around York, sometimes.]
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Not really, not anymore. [ He rolls his sleeve back, showing the marks. ] 'Vessel of a beloved soul'. A reminder to not. I never actually hurt myself but- I'd get out of my own head sometimes. Forget this isn't real. Think it's all just a blip till I fade out for good and need something to ground me. Pain is grounding. So I'd go into cage matches in D4 and take a few hits I could've dodged. Lean into them here and there.
Just to get bruises.
I've wanted to for different reasons the past few weeks but I haven't. The urge pops up but- I don't. Hurting me's hurting people that care about me. So I....don't.
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I'm glad for that. You're a much stronger individual than you give yourself credit for.
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[ He leans into the touch- he can't not. He's missed that grounding presence next to him. ]
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[ So it works for him. It's entirely different from what he'd had to put up with in the project.
Every pass of Malcolm's hand has him going loose, relaxed. Melting into it. ]
S'how I know it won't be as bad this time.
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Personally, I'm still not happy that you're involving yourself at all, but you do what you have to do.
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[ He dares to tip over just a bit, brush their shoulders together. ]
It'll be okay. I'll call you afterward.
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[He doesn't mind the tipping, the brushing. This is fine. It's...actually nice to have that contact again.] If you need me, you know where I am.
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I do. Won't take long when it happens.
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